THE
PENIS DIALOGUES
When educator and columnist Gabriel Constans saw
the play The Vagina Monologues he realized the value of a similar
investigation
into men’s feelings about their penis and its influence on
them. He sought out men of various ages, occupations and sexual
orientations and asked them to relate their experiences on a range
of subjects to do with sex, love, relationships, and of course,
their genitalia. The end result is a book - The Penis Dialogues
- that takes a refreshingly honest look at men’s feelings
about sexuality, gender and the experience of being a man. Topics
include masturbation, abuse, circumcision, relationships, cultural
conditioning and what women think of the male appendage.
The book is an excellent starting point for men
who have previously wondered about aspects of their sexuality,
genitalia or whether
or not they were “normal”. Whilst much of the book
is made up of men telling of their own experiences, the book also
covers a range of penis health issues and a number of entertaining
tales related from the penis’ point of view. Excerpts from
some of the stories appearing in the book are presented below.
What does your penis look like?
It reminds me of a cobra that’s been aroused
and is waiting to strike. It rises, flares up and sways back
and forth.
It looks ugly. I think it’s smaller than average, but most
guys thinks theirs is bigger or smaller than everyone else’s
anyway. When it’s drooping it reminds me of a slug.
When asked by a colleague, “Do you think a person’s
self-image is dependent on the size of his penis?” Sigmund
Freud replied, “It is quite the opposite. The size of his
penis depends on his self-image.”
It looks like a little fireman. When it’s erect it’s
all smooth, shiny and pulsating. Sometimes it seems like a miracle
when it gets hard and quadruples in size.
What does it feel like to have an erection?
It’s almost painful. Pleasure is only a part of it. It’s
painful pleasure. It’s a focusing and gathering, as though
the rest of my body is draining. I need to bring attention to it.
When it receives attention pleasure occurs.
It’s like water building up behind a dam,
with pressure that needs to be released.
An erection takes my head to the head of my penis.
All my thoughts are there. It’s a coalescing of everything
in one spot.
An erection feels like a fifteen minute sneeze. It starts by feeling
really warm and exciting throughout my whole body, with a focus
on my groin. An orgasm feels the top blowing off of everything.
What are your experiences about how men relate in locker rooms
and lavatories?
My over-riding observation is that men don’t make eye-contact
in the bathroom – it’s just not done. I’m sure
it’s some sort of homophobia.
There’s wariness, like when two dogs come
up, circle and smell each other. In a metaphorical sense, men
are checking to
see who has the bigger penis or the most power.
When I go into a men’s room, if a guy stands next to me
to pee and starts looking at my penis, I leave real fast. I don’t
want to get near that energy.
It seems like men need to establish what and who
they are. I don’t
like men’s locker rooms. I like sports, but I’m not
a jock. I don’t want to pretend that I’m comfortable
showing my body to other men.
Men tend to do their thing and usually don’t talk to other
men while doing it. I didn’t think about or look at other
men. I was afraid that if I did and happened to get an erection
it would mean I was queer.
In high school I always felt intimidated and thought
I was a late bloomer. It seemed you were judged a lot on how
you were developing
physically. Guys would talk to each other and say things like, “You’re
a hairless wonder.”
You’re always checking out the size of your
buddies, because prowess is associated with size.
I remember looking out the corner of my eye every once in a while
to see what the other guys looked like.
I was always real self-conscious. I was a little overweight and
compared myself to other guys to see who had a big dick. Everyone
would take little side-glances but never look directly at one another.
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